SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
