I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
