you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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