By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
