and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
