I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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