I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
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Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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