Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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