she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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