Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize