Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
