i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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