You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
