dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
