I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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