Can Purell be used as lube?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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