Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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