Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
