A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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