I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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