You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
