Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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