There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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