My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The struggles of a small town man whore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
