Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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