woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
