every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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