Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
