someone get that fucking seahorse.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Let's paint friendship bongs
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My bed smells like the plague
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize