FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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