you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
