overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
