I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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