Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
