My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
