PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
