I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize