Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize