I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
