We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
