Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Acid is not a monday night drug
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
