So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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