Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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