i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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