Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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