I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I need a burrito and a hug.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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