He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
