I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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