i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
