I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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