no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
