Kareoke will never be a sober sport
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
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My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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