So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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