I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize