Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
