Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So vagazzling was a success
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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