He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
