I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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