..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
