So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
