Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
