do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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